Mini Episode: How to Talk About Debt with a Partner
- liveyourmoneystyle
- 12 minutes ago
- 3 min read
Talking about money in a relationship isn’t always easy, and when debt enters the conversation, things can get even more complicated. Whether you or your partner are carrying debt, it’s common to feel guilt, fear, or shame around it. But here’s the truth: those emotions are normal, and avoiding the conversation doesn’t make the debt disappear. The earlier you start talking about it together, the better.
This bonus episode of Deeply Invested is part of our Debt Pillar Week, and we're diving into how to navigate debt conversations with your partner - especially when one of you is debt-free and the other isn’t.
Why Debt Is Such a Hard Topic
Debt can trigger a lot of emotions - especially in a relationship. One or both partners may feel:
Guilt over how the debt was accumulated
Shame about how much is owed
Fear of being judged or rejected
And while these feelings are valid, they shouldn’t stop you from starting the conversation.
When and How to Talk About It
Timing and setting matter. Don’t bring up debt in the middle of an argument, or during a high-stress moment. Instead, plan a “money date.” This could be a casual conversation over coffee, a glass of wine, or even a cozy takeout night - whatever helps you both feel relaxed.
Key tips for a productive money date:
No distractions: Put away phones and turn off the TV.
Choose a calm moment: Avoid stressful times or conversations when tensions are already high.
Keep the tone supportive and honest: Approach the topic with curiosity, not criticism.
If You're the One with Debt
Be open and honest. Your partner deserves to understand the full picture. Share:
The total amount you owe
The story of how you got there (if you’re comfortable)
Your current repayment strategy and progress
Transparency builds trust—and it allows you both to move forward together.
If Your Partner Has Debt
Your role isn’t to fix it—it’s to listen. Avoid interrupting or offering quick solutions. Just listen with empathy. Ask thoughtful questions, and make space for your partner to feel heard without judgment.
Working Toward Solutions—Together
After that first honest conversation, talk through next steps as a team. That might include:
Setting clear boundaries: Remember, just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you automatically take on each other’s debt.
Creating a shared plan: If one partner wants to help, discuss what that looks like—without pressure or assumptions.
Planning for future debt: Talk about how you’ll approach shared debts like mortgages, car loans, or student loans moving forward. Make sure you’re aligned on what feels comfortable and sustainable.
Keep the Conversation Going
Debt isn’t a one-time topic. Stay on the same page by:
Scheduling regular “money dates” to check in
Celebrating small wins, like paying off a credit card or loan
Tracking progress together using tools like our free Get Out of Debt template
Talking about debt might feel hard—but it’s worth it.
Transparency, patience, and regular conversations can help you and your partner build financial trust and move forward with shared goals.
If this episode helped, consider sharing it with a friend or partner. Don’t forget to rate and subscribe to Deeply Invested for more conversations that help you feel confident with your money.
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